It’s been a busy summer and I’ve been hit and miss with my posts. I missed last week so I’m doing my book review this week! The book I chose is Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters by #1 New York Times Bestseller Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.
The back cover reads:
“Do You Know the Ten Laws of Life?
Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
Life Law #2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life.
Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.
Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it.
Life Law #5: Life rewards action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
Life Law #6: There is no reality; only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.
Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.
Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you.
Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.”
Here are a couple of my favorite quotes and exercises from the book:
“Consider these two truths: First, you’ve got what it takes, and you’re worth the effort it will take to find that truth and build [a] strategy. Second: nobody is going to do it for you. But that’s okay, because you don’t need a brain transplant; you don’t need a spine transplant; you don’t need anything that you don’t have within you” (p. 31).
Assignment #4 from “You Create Your Own Experience” p. 61: “If you are going to begin to view your life from a position of accountability, a good place to practice is by re-evaluating the history that may have previously had you cast, at least in your mind, as the victim. It would be very useful for you to open your journal at this point and, thinking back through the various stages in your life when, before now, you felt that you had been victimized, mistreated, or in some way unfairly dealt with. Describe these situations with enough detail that you can capture the emotion of each. As you do this, leave space under each of the five situations to write some other things. In the spaces that you have left, I want you to now identify how, in each of those situations, you were, in fact, accountable for your bad result. Maybe it’s something you did, maybe it’s something you failed to do, maybe it is some way in which you set yourself up for the result, or failed to recognize the warning signs. Whatever it is, practice your new position by re-evaluating the top five times in your life that you were certain you had been victimized by a world that was unfair or did not understand. Don’t treat this as a superficial exercise or as busy work. Beginning to live as an accountable person means that you are beginning to think as an accountable person. This exercise will be important in formulating strategies for your future life that put you in the driver’s seat, rather than the back in the passenger compartment.”
“Resolve now that you will take the risk, make the effort, and be persistent in the pursuit of your goals. Your life should be filled with victories and rewards. If you are losing, that means somebody else is winning, so you know that winning happens. It might as well happen to you, but it’s not going to happen by accident. It will happen because you make it happen. It will happen because you know what you want and move toward it in a strategic, consistent, meaningful, purposeful manner. Take action, and insist on results. This is a supremely important law of life” (p. 149).
Assignment #14 from “You Have To Name It To Claim It” pp. 223-24: Ask yourselves these questions…”there is a definite pattern to this dialogue…write down your answers. If you continue to follow the repeating pattern, you will get down to precisely what you want in this life. Once again, the key questions are:
- What do you want?
- What must you do to have it?
- How would you feel when you had it?
- So, what you really want is… (what you described in question 3).
- What do you want?
- What must you do to have it?
- How would you feel when you had it?
- So, what you really want is… (what you described in question 3).
“By being specific and defining your goal in as many different ways as you can, you’ll develop a more intimate understanding of what you want. As a result, the choices you make along the way will be more goal oriented. You’ll be more likely to recognize your goal when you get there, since you’ll have so many criteria by which to measure it” (p. 224).
If you’re looking for some strategies to guide your life, I highly recommend reading this book!
And if you want to experience how working with a coach can guide you to what works and what matters, book a free discovery session here . I am offering discounted packages through the end of August so act now .