I met with a client this week who wanted to work through some feelings about an upcoming family reunion. She expressed that the family dynamics were sometimes difficult and she was concerned about all being together for 5 days in the same house.
She had been thinking things like: “Why can’t everyone just get along for the short time we’re together?”, “Don’t they want to be happy and enjoy the time together?”, “Will I be able to enjoy this in the way I want to?”
We explored questions like these:
- How are these current thoughts about the reunion making you feel? (anxious, pressure, sadness)
- What is actually in your control? (how I think and act, how I decide to spend my time and energy)
- How do you want to feel instead? (peaceful, relaxed, happy)
- What thoughts can you go prepared with to create the feelings you want? (I don’t have to fix everything, I can choose do things I enjoy and spend time with those that bring me peace and happiness in that moment.)
- What is the result you ultimately want? (To lets things go, don’t feel the need to control things, let the kids act how they act with other and I show up how I want to in my interactions with my family.)
She ended the session with a commitment to come up with more thoughts she could use to create the results she wanted for herself at the family reunion…and left feeling much lighter!!
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