Have you heard of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT? It’s a strategy where patients/clients are helped to develop coping skills, whereby they can learn to change their own thinking, problematic emotions, and behavior. The theory behind CBT is that our thoughts create our results, not what actually happens to us but the way we THINK about what happens to us.
There are many different versions of the CBT model, mine is designed to “STEAR” you towards a result you really want.
- S = Situation (event that is provable in a court of law, otherwise it’s a thought)
- T = Thought (how you think about what happened or is happening)
- E = Emotion (how you react to the thought, a one word feeling - otherwise it’s probably a thought)
- A = Action (the way you act based on the emotion)
- R = Result (the consequence of whatever action you take, most likely the result ends up being how you thought)
Here’s an example of what this looks like…
- Situation - Traffic
- Thought - “Stupid people, I’m going to be late to work”
- Emotion - Stressed, annoyed, frustrated, angry
- Action - Sit and stew, cut people off, yell at no one that can hear
- Result - You are late to work and in a bad mood, possibly cut off your own boss or worse…cause an accident
Your negative thoughts didn’t change the situation, that there was traffic, they only affected YOUR OUTCOME.
What if you just changed the thought?
- Situation - Traffic
- Thought - “I wonder if there’s an accident. I’m probably going to be late. I’ll call my sister while I wait.”
- Emotion - Curiosity, compassion, acceptance, excitement
- Action - Enjoy the sites you normally don’t see as you speed by, turn up the radio and sing along, call your sister, finish that audiobook you’ve been listening to, maybe let your boss know you’re stuck in traffic
- Result - You’re still late to work but now you are in a better mood and show up as the kind of person you want to be. Your new thought didn’t change the situation, but you achieved a better outcome.
See the difference? You can’t change what happens to you but you can choose your thoughts on purpose!!
If you are ready to do some thought work so you can create different results in your life, click the button in the lower right corner and schedule a Free coaching call with me…